A judgmental jerk by Misha Lyuve

Sep 23, 2012

The bed & breakfast was clean and cozy. The owners were friendly. I mean, very friendly. To tell the truth, so freakin’ friendly, they were killing me. Do you want coffee? Smile. More toast? Smile. Eggs? Big smile. More coffee? Juice? Pancakes? Home-made granola? Smile. Smile. Smile. More coffee? Anything else you need? I tolerated this with a semi-cheerful New York smirk, but inside I was rolling my eyes so hard they were hurting.

The day was perfect. Early fall. I climbed a mountain and was rewarded with the views of lake George; they made me pause. The lake seemed so big and mysterious when I stood right in front of the water. But from the top of the mountain, it felt innocent and easy to embrace; tucked, like a child, between the woods.

I could also see that those moments when we are so vested in life’s drama look very different when we manage to observe them from above. And when I thought of myself and the couple from the B&B from the top of that mountain, I looked as a petty judgmental jerk. And why exactly I had to get so engaged in being annoyed with those people, who at least did me no harm and at best provided me with a great service?

They say “judge not and you will not be judged”; that judgements use much of our energy that could be applied in more productive ways; that they stay in the way of us seeing, understanding and loving others and rob us from blissful moments of affinity. And hell yeh, more than anything we dislike when others judge us, misunderstand our intentions and don’t give us a chance. As you, I know all this too well. But often I just forget. But when I am aware, I can let a judgement go as a feather off my palm on a windy day. It is always liberating.

Who do you judge?

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”  Matthew 7:1-5


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