blog > Posts tagged "how to forgive"

Top things to consider before the end of the world (#2) by Misha Lyuve

Jun 8, 2011
Also see: Top things to consider before the end of the world (#1) 

#2 Go get it.

My fragile humanity with glimpses of hope

Pleases its bosses and is doing its job.

It also keeps a stack of dreams for a thrill

Full of noble intentions as well as good will.

And next to the dreams there is bigger collection

Of reasons, excuses and justifications.

– from “Rid me of fear and give me vision

 

I don’t ever stop feeling like a kid in a candy store — do you? — there are so many goodies to want  in our never-ending world of desires.   

wanting more

Wanting more by William Kurtz

And by now I figured that life is not about getting what we want. And even more so: it is not about not getting what we want.   

I am finding that one of the ways not to be as possessed by the world of wantings is to actually go and get it — and when I say “what you want”, I don’t mean an ice-cream or a hand-bag. I mean

that impossible dream that you stopped admitting you have

that path you’re not following because it seems too hard or for whatever other reason that justifies not taking it

that something  that will make you wake up in the mornings thrilled that you’re alive

that what might even create most inspiring stories for your grandchildren.

And I bet you know exactly what I am talking about. 

They say that on their deathbed people for the most part regret things that they haven’t done.

What are you waiting for?

Top things to consider before the end of the world (#1) by Misha Lyuve

May 25, 2011

judgement day may 21, 2011 

If I were a bit smarter and faster, I would’ve come up with this posting before May 21st. But I think these can still be handy for the next apocalypse prediction or our finite lives in general.

#1. Forgive

As a wise someone said “resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending that something didn’t happen. Forgiveness is giving up the right to hold whatever happened against the other.  So whatever happened – happened, but now is not impacting how you relate to the other.

It sounds really great and simple on paper, but can be one of the god-damn-it hardest things to do. As someone who harvested a few resentments in this lifetime, one thing I learned for sure: as hard as it is, the reward for forgiveness is priceless – like dropping a 100lb backpack off your own shoulders and most likely off someone else’s too. Stuff like love, affinity and intimacy are common side effects. But let me not over-sell this – you probably know yourself.

The question is how to start? Probably with the person who is floating up into your mind as you’re reading this.

Forgiveness most of the time requires an action – like having a conversation and most likely the kind of conversation that is a little scary to have, where you’re vulnerable, taking a risk and not knowing the outcome. Even a consideration to forgive someone will likely be met with loud voices “why bother?”, “they will never get it”, “I can do without them”,  “I tried it already”.

The voices will argue hard, will try to scare you, will bring you evidence from the past. Has it been forever that they kept this relationship or a situation in a status quo, that’s so painfully lifeless and chokingly boring? I say don’t listen to them. Have the conversation anyway. Forgive anyway.

More to follow……….

Confessions of an asshole by Misha Lyuve

May 8, 2011

I wish I would always be balanced, kind and compassionate. But in reality, sometimes I can be an asshole. I offend people. I can be selfish, inconsiderate and ungrateful. Big news? – nah.

And of course I get to chastise myself for everything I’m not and everything I should be.  And as I leave little room for my own humanity, I do little for others’. Just upset me, say something to me I don’t like or do something I consider wrong – I will quickly get righteous, judgmental and unforgiving – yup, more of an asshole. Sounds familiar? – dah.

Just for illustration purposes: here is an asshole-ness – un-forgiveness vicious cycle.

Vicious cycle

This vicious cycle causes and perpetuates wars between friends and countries, it can divide a family and a nation, it leaves scars of arguments and wars for a lifetime.

So let me tell you, as an asshole to an asshole: let’s FORGIVE! We can start today forgiving one person; and maybe this person is you yourself.

tranformation cycle